The songs in the album draw heavily on my own life and reflect similarities of my clients in therapy, friends and acquaintances. The songs highlight my participation and facilitation, as a psychotherapist and clinical hypnotherapist, of the therapeutic understanding and nature of Family and Systemic Constellations and in Metaphysical Sciences.
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Themes behind the songs
Wilde Side Paradox
The wild side walks, runs or slides into the gambit of rebellion and excitement. It breaks the rules and is hedonistic and fun but can be equally dangerous, deceitful, destructive and deadly. From a metaphysical perspective the life path we live and experience is chosen before we are born and can be seen as our Karma or fate. Spiritual lessons of: forgiveness, unconditional love, compassion for self and others, gaining inner peace, patience, acceptance and tolerance can be accessed through the journey of suffering. Paradoxically, we choose the very things we wish to avoid to gain spiritual insights. The French words reflect a spiritual sentiment “Always Love-Why Fear” It is the ego that is terrified of death and life and does not see our nature as being of Spirit which cannot be hurt.
Ireland (Orphan Song)
Family patterns repeat and continue over and over until past suffering and exclusion of those who belong in the family system are remembered and given a place of belonging. In Family Constellation therapy the excluded are given a place with the aim to reconcile. Despite the love given by those who adopt or foster, we all originate on Earth from biological parents, who gave us life and so they are the right and chosen parents; for without them we would have no life. Simply honouring this fact is enough to break repeating, dysfunctional family patterns. In my family tree adoption and abandonment is prevalent over many generations and continues to this day. In some cases, secrets and false stories have been established around who is good and bad which only continues the sense of shame, disconnection, exclusion and difficulty with belonging.
I don't know Why
Present suffering is entangled in the suffering of the past. This song expresses the confusion of relational breakdown when there appears to be no reason for it. The Universal Conscience of Balance, for past generational suffering, directs outcomes that are not what we would choose and rather like the mythical lemmings who are powerless, in leaping on mass over a cliff face, we follow ‘irrational’ fates that continue suffering. This is an unconscious bond or pull to our historical past that can be broken with insight into the real dynamics embedded in a family system. Arguably the majority of us are unaware of these hidden energetic influences. The aim is to live in the present moment, for the past, with all its influence has passed. (although metaphysically do all times zones: past, present and future occur simultaneously)? A paradox is presented here of needing to be present centred but recognizing how we are affected by past and possibly the future.
Daddys Little girl
The children are often the ones who carry the pain embedded in the family tree. Their loyalty and love of parents means that they subconsciously and blindly carry the burden of their parents that is not there’s to carry. Sometimes they are forced to take sides while in their hearts they are bonded to both parents. Every time a parent belittles or condemns their partner or ex; the child suffers. The child’s carrying of generational pain has been called a ‘crazy love’ a blind loyalty so deep that they will do anything to restore love and bring balance to the family tree (by reliving the past trauma) but it is deeply flawed. Therapist in this field allow the child (who is often the adult coming to therapy) to give back the burden so that they no longer take responsibility for past pain.
Addiction often masks deep emotional pain. Metaphysically, when we accept what is, even though unpleasant, we no longer live in denial. This song shows the struggle with grief and loss and the realisation that facing pain rather than ‘coping’ with the temporary fix of a drug, allows for the first step to healing. By living in the present moment, we do not enter the despair of the past or the anticipated anxiety that lies in the future.
How can I say
We all have a purpose in life and connection to that allows for a sense of relaxing into a natural state of being; that connects to our metaphysical energy. It is achieved when a knowing and ease that we are on the right track exists within. Suffering can often produce a wake-up call for us to follow our true course and destiny. However, suffering can also destroy trust, self-belief and hinder motivation and persistence, resulting in a state of frozen inertia. A state that does not complement our soul. At our death, if we have the luxury of reflection, a life well lived is one of having experienced a sense of purpose in which love, service and spiritual connection have been experienced. Death is also a time when the futility of a life of greed, deception and unkindness is fully realised.
Beyond Blue/The Burden
The Burden is the misguided loyalty of carrying the pain of others; that which is beyond blue. Those who suffer and have a difficult fate are well served by other family members when this fate is recognised and accepted and then love and true sympathy can be found for sometimes terrible situations. The burdens or traumas carried over the generations include a connection to: war, divorce, financial deceit, accidents, early deaths, illness, betrayals, adoptions, murder, terminations, migrations, unrequited love for past lovers and many other situations where suffering and exclusion occurs. The key is not to carry the burden that belongs to another family, reinstate the excluded and to establish peace with any perceived enemy. Resolution involves a meeting and softening of both victim and perpetrator and when either one is excluded peace rarely lasts for both sides. Look at the Middle East, the continuing legacy of slavery and male/female inequalities.
There was a time
Grief, regret and deep sorrow are found in this song when the father, lost in the fog of despair, depression and anxiety loses contact with his children after the adult relationship ends. The fog is also the process of being caught up in the patterns of past family scenarios. Stigma and stories are often created around mental health as are stories of someone being: good or bad, strong or weak, and in essence creates ‘The Black Sheep’ or the excluded family member. However, judgement stories have little understanding of what lies behind the dynamic of mental health and family break up. Stories get in the way of the true bond that forever binds family members. A divorce or separation does not stop the family or systemic bond (that can never be broken) and remains firmly in place long after love has evaporated. Who is bonded to the family system: past lovers, those involved in broken engagements, those divorced, the terminated, the adopted, every family member even those who have done ‘wrong,’ non-family who have contributed to traumatic incidents through murderer, fatal accidents and a range of abuse.
Death of a family Man
Our legal, religious and political institutions have little sensitivity to family dynamics. They are adversarial in nature where blame and shame are embedded in the culture that pretends fairness but, in reality, are regimes that instil the need to attack and defend. Death of a family man is not a gender specific song and is equally applicable to women and children. It highlights a metaphorical death where: access to family members is limited or contact lost, parents are condemned, restraining orders are given to get an advantage over the other parent and costs spiral out of control well beyond the means of the average person. Of course, there are cases where violence needs to be monitored and police intervention is necessary. However, when there is family conflict, lawyers, judges and magistrates add fuel to the fire. Therapists trained in the complexity of family dynamics, rather than a harsh legal system, need to be involved in healing deep generational hurts. Time, training, money and love are needed to address a Family Court system that is in chaos.
This song highlights the walls that keep out love because of past hurt.
We all have dreams, desires, goals and seek life purpose. Hippy Girl is an expression of a need to connect with nature and the freedom that provides. There is a conscious attempt to escape the materialistic, find a soul mate and find joy in simple but profoundly moving experiences such as playing music, horse riding and connecting to the land. A sentiment of being allowed to be in one’s own space, to be oneself is expressed and draws on the social constraints of how controlling society and other people can be. We sometimes conform at our own peril. Relationships thrive when we allow the other to simply be themselves
This song asks us to recognise our true spiritual nature and that from every life experience, even the most negative, comes an opportunity to learn and grow in love. What are the lessons we need to learn? This is an individual journey. In my case patience, forgiveness, less judgemental and acceptance are certainly key themes.
About Tony Byrne
Born in England and placed into an orphanage he was adopted and initially raised in The Cameroons in West Africa. After taking a post graduate course in teaching Tony’s first job was in a remote bush school in Malawi from 1983-1985. Tony is somewhat of a gypsy having lived in 10 countries on 4 continents. His most cherished accomplishment was having his children; Tayla and Rose, followed by a love of travelling (over 100 countries), playing Neil Young songs on the guitar and banjo and enjoying the company of his horse, Daisy Belle and Asher the golden retriever. He has released a musical CD, Heartache in A Metaphysical World: The Family Tree.
Tony currently resides in a Queenslander in Kilmore East Victoria and is the director of Treetops therapy centre.